No Rules For Heartaches
Many of us have dealt with heartaches. It does not matter if you are in a relationship, ended a relationship, wishing to be in a relationship or envying a relationship. A heartache is a heartache. No one can tell you not to feel the pain because the person is not worth it. Others cannot stop your heart for the simple reason that the other person is not yours to begin with. Finally, no one can dictate you how to feel simply because they have been there.
If you are hurt, you are hurt and you owe it to yourself to acknowledge the pain. So what, if you cry your heart out? So what, if you are miserable?
The good thing about acknowledging it and reacting to it honestly is that you will eventually realize how to deal with the pain your way. You decide when and how to move on. You will decide when and how to mend your heart and at what pace.
You don't want to go on pretending that it does not bother or affect you to please others. You don't want to lie to yourself either. Eventually, you will have to deal with it, might as well deal with it now. The sooner you deal with it, the sooner you will figure out how to handle your emotions.
I never understood this phrase when I was younger, but now, it is one of the most sensible things to me. If you are hurt and no medicine can seem to take away the pain, then you just have to trust the magic of time.
Think of your most humiliating hour in high school or your most dreaded day as a child. Remember how your parents and friends consoled you. You never welcomed their advises. You think they will never understand. You just want to be left alone. But after some time, they don't seem to matter anymore. You get to do other things, have another embarrassing moment to deal and everything just seem to be part of who you are. The stories became funny memories, a story to tell. All because of time.
However, the phrase above is only true for people who learns to let go and move on. Those who hold grudges and hang on to something beyond their control will never understand how to let time heal them.
This feeling is true for some time. May be you will still feel this way after a few weeks, months and even years. But I think how you feel about certain situations after letting time take its course is a choice. If you choose to hold on to a hope that your desired love story will realize, then it is up to you. This may backfire though, especially if the realization of that dream love story includes the emotions of other individuals. People cannot manipulate your feelings, what makes you think you can manipulate theirs?
Remember, there is a huge difference between reminiscing the past and wanting to relive them. If you want to wait for a chance or a second chance with the subject of your affection, then by all means, wait. But keep in mind, when you decide to wait, you trade off the time and a chance to be happy with someone else.
Again, the decision is yours. But, you have to realize the truth of the statement above. You cannot say that you have moved on if you hang on to the past. How will you start all over again if you cannot give up the thoughts of why your heart is breaking? Letting go is the hardest thing to do especially if every inch of you wants to hold on. And you can hold on as long as you like, wish as hard as you can, but no one will guarantee that your efforts will be worth it.
No one can tell you how to manage your emotion. Even if they do, you will be too stubborn to follow them. You have all the right to get hurt when you feel the pain. Nurse the emotion if you want to. But for how long? That is the decision you have to make. But remember, no matter how long you feel sorry for yourself, no matter how long you feel bad, it does not change the truth. Life goes on. The world will not stop when your heart sinks. People will only feel sorry for you for a while as they have their own lives, pains and worries to deal with.
Don't be to contained with your heartbreak. You don't want to wake up one day and realize that the things you missed because you chose to detach yourself from reality.
If you are hurt, you are hurt and you owe it to yourself to acknowledge the pain. So what, if you cry your heart out? So what, if you are miserable?
The good thing about acknowledging it and reacting to it honestly is that you will eventually realize how to deal with the pain your way. You decide when and how to move on. You will decide when and how to mend your heart and at what pace.
You don't want to go on pretending that it does not bother or affect you to please others. You don't want to lie to yourself either. Eventually, you will have to deal with it, might as well deal with it now. The sooner you deal with it, the sooner you will figure out how to handle your emotions.
Time heals all wounds...
I never understood this phrase when I was younger, but now, it is one of the most sensible things to me. If you are hurt and no medicine can seem to take away the pain, then you just have to trust the magic of time.
Think of your most humiliating hour in high school or your most dreaded day as a child. Remember how your parents and friends consoled you. You never welcomed their advises. You think they will never understand. You just want to be left alone. But after some time, they don't seem to matter anymore. You get to do other things, have another embarrassing moment to deal and everything just seem to be part of who you are. The stories became funny memories, a story to tell. All because of time.
However, the phrase above is only true for people who learns to let go and move on. Those who hold grudges and hang on to something beyond their control will never understand how to let time heal them.
The pain never goes away, you just learn to get used to them...
This feeling is true for some time. May be you will still feel this way after a few weeks, months and even years. But I think how you feel about certain situations after letting time take its course is a choice. If you choose to hold on to a hope that your desired love story will realize, then it is up to you. This may backfire though, especially if the realization of that dream love story includes the emotions of other individuals. People cannot manipulate your feelings, what makes you think you can manipulate theirs?
Remember, there is a huge difference between reminiscing the past and wanting to relive them. If you want to wait for a chance or a second chance with the subject of your affection, then by all means, wait. But keep in mind, when you decide to wait, you trade off the time and a chance to be happy with someone else.
You will never move on, unless you decide to let go...
Again, the decision is yours. But, you have to realize the truth of the statement above. You cannot say that you have moved on if you hang on to the past. How will you start all over again if you cannot give up the thoughts of why your heart is breaking? Letting go is the hardest thing to do especially if every inch of you wants to hold on. And you can hold on as long as you like, wish as hard as you can, but no one will guarantee that your efforts will be worth it.
No one can tell you how to manage your emotion. Even if they do, you will be too stubborn to follow them. You have all the right to get hurt when you feel the pain. Nurse the emotion if you want to. But for how long? That is the decision you have to make. But remember, no matter how long you feel sorry for yourself, no matter how long you feel bad, it does not change the truth. Life goes on. The world will not stop when your heart sinks. People will only feel sorry for you for a while as they have their own lives, pains and worries to deal with.
Don't be to contained with your heartbreak. You don't want to wake up one day and realize that the things you missed because you chose to detach yourself from reality.
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