I Could Tell
I could tell you outright that I
love you, that I’m elated when you call me on the phone, when we talk of things
and just waste away our time. I could tell you honestly how much you mean to
me.
I could even tell you that you
are always on my mind; from the time I wake in the morning until I close my
eyes at night. The one who fills my dreams and fantasies, who makes me laugh
until I cannot laugh anymore. You are the one who gets me mad but would
eventually woo me in a truce with his sweetness and charm. The one who knows me
and understands how I feel. The person who accepts me, appreciates me and
values that friendship that we share.
I could go on and on about you,
and tell you how you fill my life. I could make use of profound words and
flowery speeches, but mere words would not be able to express how I feel. They
would not be enough to make you see how true my feelings for you are.
Even if I put all the words in
the world together, it would not show you the sincerity of my feelings. You
might think that what I’m feeling is just an attraction or admiration, or just
a passing phase that we all go through.
But so many people grow in and
out of love a lot of times. Can you say that what they went through was just an
attraction? Time is the only thing that could testify for the feeling that has
grown into love. And at this point, I would not be able to contend with what
you think.
But this is the only thing that I
can say – I have grown in love with you. Even if I say these words a hundred
times, I may still not prove to you how my feelings for you had grown deeply,
for we have not known each other that long.
I don’t expect anything from you
in return. Bu if I would be granted one wish, I would readily wish for you to
love me too. To never leave my side, to stay with me, to be the one whom I can
share my dreams with.
Yet I know, no one can grant me
that wish. Everything is up to you. I do not want to force you into anything,
for it would hurt me badly to see you unhappy.
If only I can tell you that I don’t
want to hear from you again because I’m hurting, I would. If I could resist the
urge to call you on the phone just to hear your voice, I would. If I could correct
this feeling in me, suppress it, or box it up and hide it away from you, I
would. But I couldn't.
For you have become so much part
of me in so short a time that it would hurt me more to avoid you and let you go
than to hear you talk of another girl with so much affection. If I could say
all these to make you understand, to make you realize what has happened to me…
I may have opened to you
everything that I feel. And I may have said a lot of ‘ifs’ and ‘buts.’ Still, I
can assure you that if I would say all these things to you they would be true.
Honestly and sincerely, all these would be the nearest thing to describe to you what I’m feeling. But only if I could…
(This is part of my collection in college. I did not write this open letter, I don't have the author's name either. But kudos to you!)
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