Closure
I
am not a believer of closure. But that’s me. If you think it will help you
heal, be my guess. The thing is, I always believe that a person choosing to
walk away from you… is by itself a closure. Why does that need explaining?
Explanations do not change the fact that he left. He might have the best
excuse, but that does not change the fact that he is gone. It’s over. You’re
main concern now should be about picking the pieces and working on you.
I
still think closure is overrated, but recently, I realized it doesn’t hurt if
you get the apology you thought you’d never get. Well recently, I spoke to
someone who left me brutally damaged. After about two years, I received a text
message from someone who I thought I will never speak to for the rest of my
life. The thing is, I thought I don’t care whether he apologizes or not. I have
decided to forgive him and let him go a long time ago. But honestly, the call
got to me and it forced me to revisit my scarred heart.
The
thing about trying to move on and let go of someone without speaking to him is
that you sometime forget that he is human too. A human being, who has feelings
of guilt, shame and yes, fear. Why should I care about how he felt, right? I
was too busy mending my poor heart.
And
then the call, I was fine with it. I’m pretty sure I’m over him. But that call
made me realized that I care; I do care about how he felt. I do care about what
he has to say. I realized I deserve an explanation and I realized I deserve a
proper apology. No, I don’t want him back to my life if that’s what you’re
thinking. It just feels good, peaceful even.
The
best part of it was that I haven’t kept track of the time until he reached out.
When he decided to walk away, I was so broken I thought I will not be over it. After
having your heart broken too many times, you’d understand how I felt. But I’m
still here, I’m okay and the pain I used to feel is no more.
They
say things happen for a reason, and now it’s clear to me why it never worked
between us. He is meant for someone, and that someone isn’t me. And I am okay
with that.
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