Closure

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I am not a believer of closure. But that’s me. If you think it will help you heal, be my guess. The thing is, I always believe that a person choosing to walk away from you… is by itself a closure. Why does that need explaining? Explanations do not change the fact that he left. He might have the best excuse, but that does not change the fact that he is gone. It’s over. You’re main concern now should be about picking the pieces and working on you.

I still think closure is overrated, but recently, I realized it doesn’t hurt if you get the apology you thought you’d never get. Well recently, I spoke to someone who left me brutally damaged. After about two years, I received a text message from someone who I thought I will never speak to for the rest of my life. The thing is, I thought I don’t care whether he apologizes or not. I have decided to forgive him and let him go a long time ago. But honestly, the call got to me and it forced me to revisit my scarred heart.

The thing about trying to move on and let go of someone without speaking to him is that you sometime forget that he is human too. A human being, who has feelings of guilt, shame and yes, fear. Why should I care about how he felt, right? I was too busy mending my poor heart.

And then the call, I was fine with it. I’m pretty sure I’m over him. But that call made me realized that I care; I do care about how he felt. I do care about what he has to say. I realized I deserve an explanation and I realized I deserve a proper apology. No, I don’t want him back to my life if that’s what you’re thinking. It just feels good, peaceful even.

The best part of it was that I haven’t kept track of the time until he reached out. When he decided to walk away, I was so broken I thought I will not be over it. After having your heart broken too many times, you’d understand how I felt. But I’m still here, I’m okay and the pain I used to feel is no more.


They say things happen for a reason, and now it’s clear to me why it never worked between us. He is meant for someone, and that someone isn’t me. And I am okay with that. 

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