Why You Need to Take it Easy on Yourself?

How many times have you blamed yourself for things gone wrong? Plans going south? And goals remaining unmet? Often, you see yourself at a standstill, feeling like you are not getting anywhere in life. Yes, it is often disappointing to see how much you have given and yet you are still far off from your dreams. In fact, you will often feel that what you want are moving away from you, and perhaps, they are not meant for you. But these thoughts are just that, thoughts, they are not your reality, so get easy on yourself.

What you feel is valid, but it is temporary:

All of us feel that way sometimes, and it is important to recognize those feelings. However, we cannot dwell on them for long because if we do, we will fail to recognize all the good things that happened to us. We would miss the chance of enjoying our little victories. Although it does not feel good to see our plans shatter, remember that those are just hiccups. You can only stare at the broken glass for so long, but you have to eventually clean up the mess, start over and enjoy the journey. Everything is temporary, even the feeling of defeat. Cry if you must, but after pouring your heart out, get yourself together, and move forward. It may take longer, but eventually, you will see things are getting better.

Life is not a bed of roses:

We can’t stay sheltered forever. Many of us were blessed to have families who care for us, who love us unconditionally. Most were given wonderful parents who did everything to provide for their children. But at some point in life (adulating), we have to fend off for ourselves, stand up for what we believe in, and learn that although we have been taught certain values in life, what we have learned is not always right. We met the world, and the world introduced us to the reality that not everyone will like us no matter how hard we try. Not everyone will be nice to us because we are nice. We will not always get what we want. We will encounter shut doors, insults, and rejections. And these are not even the worst. But that is life, we will be given times of triumphs, comfort, acceptance, but it will also test our patience. Life can be good, but it is not a bed of roses. It will continue to test us, to make us better so that we will be able to live out our purpose.

Struggles are the building blocks of character:

Imagine if we were never scolded, if our mistakes were always tolerated, if our low performances were not addressed, would we strive to be better? I don’t think so as this will only teach us to be complacent, to give have baked outputs and expect to getaway with not doing our job right.

Although it is true that we do not want to struggle, as much as possible, it is also undeniable that if we have not struggled, we will never discover what we are capable of. We will never know that we can withstand a storm if we have not encountered any. JK Rowling, Oprah, Lady Gaga and so many were resilient and consistent with what they do because they have dealt with the hardships of life. Today, they continue to inspire and live out their purpose.

Dealing with the challenges mold us into who we are. We learn every time we fall, and the lessons are often hard and difficult to understand, but once we surpass those challenges, we will begin to understand why they had to happen.

It is okay to make a mess:

We are often hard on ourselves because we expect things to always go our way. But no matter how careful we are with our plans, we will face unavoidable circumstances. Your presentation can end up corrupted after working on it for hours. The report you have submitted might miss a few pages. You might ruin your newly purchased dress in the washer. And you will still have these moments even after doing things perfectly for a very long time. These things can happen, and you will be scolded for this, you will be called incompetent, and that is fine. We make mistakes, we encounter problems. But these mistakes, these little messes do not define who we are. Always remember, your mistakes are just part of a learning process. They are not your defining point. So you make a mess, learn from it, if you make a mistake again, try another time, try until you get it right. Remember, mistakes are not the end, they are just part of the plot.

See them as detours:

We hate it when plans do not turn out the way we want it. But often, these are just starting points of better things that are coming our way. How many times have we been rejected and end up getting something better? When plans don’t go our way, remember, God’s plans are always better.

We will always have those moments when we question ourselves. These are valid and we need to acknowledge these feelings. But these are just part of life that help shape who we are. Our mistakes are just part of the journey. And we might be confused as to where we are headed, but trust that the Almighty has prepared something for us. Something that is beyond the plans that we have set for ourselves.