Days Like This

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And there are days like this. Days when nothing goes wrong but nothing feels right. When you know that there are so many things to look forward to, but they seem empty promises, and you ask yourself, why am I doing all these? What are these for? And sometimes life is like this, you question your purpose, why are you here, and you don’t find answers, and so you continue this cycle of figuring things out, when all you really want is to find contentment.

I don’t want to be whining, but I’ll whine anyway. I don’t want to be sad, but this is something I cannot escape. Perhaps it is part of life, part of really knowing who you are and be more self-aware. They say you need to be more grateful. I am, but that does not mean I should hide all these other feelings. I am grateful, but I am also confused, lost, and just want everything to stop. But the world will not wait, so as the other people in this world. Life goes on, no matter how I feel.

It is frustrating when you want to be someone who embraces life and enjoy every moment, but sometimes you just feel down, and you do not know where it is coming from. I am loved, I love, and I will continue to love, but for this day, I am sad, and no matter what I do, I cannot shake of this melancholic feeling. And perhaps I am tired of imagining the life I want, when I haven’t figured out the life I want.

Perhaps I have too much time in my hand, or probably I just do not know what to do with the time I am given. And it’s days like this when I just want to snap out of it, and perhaps I will. But for now, I’ll mope, endure, and soak it all in.

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