Random Thoughts

Are we supposed to walk in a straight line?  Do we need to trek the road set before us?  This familiar journey of what is ideal has been so comforting.  Comforting enough to look away from the things that might have been.  Enough to scare away the thought of leaving.  But the heart is anxious and the mind wanders around.  Is this the life I want or do I live it because it's convenient? Is this the life I want, or am I just scared of the unknown? I don't want to sound ungrateful, because I am deeply thankful… But this tingling in my heart keeps nagging that there is more.  Is it greedy for me to explore? Or am I a coward for making excuses and not doing anything at all? Comfort is an antagonist for pursuing something new… It is scary to give up the life you are used to. When faced with a crossroad, my choice has always been clear.. To continue on the predictable road that I am already on. But1 I am conflicted because of a different life I can live. But ...

It has been a couple of weeks  Since we called it quits I had to move out of your way Although I wanted so much to stay But they say you have to let go of a dream But often, that is not an easy thing For how can you leave A reality you once lived I know I’ll find my way again Get used to a life before ours began I’ll find my way around this uncertain world And figure it out without the hands I once held And one day I’ll get through life without hearing your name Or maybe I’ll look back and lose its meaning But I don’t want to forget the feeling Of being loved by someone so giving I never want to forget the life you let me live Don’t say sorry because there is nothing to forgive We all have our battles, and yours was not easy Though I still want you to turn to me when you need somebody I want to remember how you thought of my welfare amidst your war Don’t think you got rid of me, I won’t be far Your demons may be dark and strong; But they won’t stick around, just hold on I know you ...

What now? Life is often about chasing because we love the things we cannot have – or so we thought. The longing keeps us looking forward to finally reaching what we desire. By a stroke of luck, what we want, we find within arm’s reach, and for a moment we are exhilarated. Finally, we are face to face with what we have always wanted. But after the excitement wanes, and the adrenaline rush fades away, we are back to staring at our monotonous life, asking, what now? When we finally have what we want, we often have extreme expectations. We long to have that glorious moment and think to ourselves. Finally, I’m here. But we only get to enjoy that moment for an acute moment time. Because after a few minutes, all the applause will fade, the limelight - turned off, and everything goes back to the way it was. For some, things become way better, while for others, it becomes far worse. But it doesn’t matter really, does it? We have reached the summit. And that is what truly matters ...

You Deserve a Love that has Purpose. You are not made for temporary love, one that sees you as someone who is only good for now; You are not made for a love that is convenient, because you are someone he needs. You are not made for a love that does not commit, because that is not love at all. You deserve a love that has purpose, one that sees a lifetime with you; You deserve a love that is lasting, one that still loves amidst the challenges you go through. You deserve a love that commits,   one that sees a life with you no matter how hard it gets.

You deserve a love that is certain; That is sure about you and does not keep you guessing. You deserve a love that is sure; a love that is sure about you. A love that chooses you over and over again no matter the circumstances. You deserve a love that stays even when everything else has chosen to leave. You deserve a love you are certain of; A love you are sure of; A love you will choose no matter what; and And a love you will stay with, even if the others have left. 

How many times have you blamed yourself for things gone wrong? Plans going south? And goals remaining unmet? Often, you see yourself at a standstill, feeling like you are not getting anywhere in life. Yes, it is often disappointing to see how much you have given and yet you are still far off from your dreams. In fact, you will often feel that what you want are moving away from you, and perhaps, they are not meant for you. But these thoughts are just that, thoughts, they are not your reality, so get easy on yourself. What you feel is valid, but it is temporary: All of us feel that way sometimes, and it is important to recognize those feelings. However, we cannot dwell on them for long because if we do, we will fail to recognize all the good things that happened to us. We would miss the chance of enjoying our little victories. Although it does not feel good to see our plans shatter, remember that those are just hiccups. You can only stare at the broken glass for so long, b...

Earning the third stripe is indeed a fulfillment. It is a manifestation that the years of sleepless nights, reading texts and references over and over again just to make sense of them, and depriving yourself of meeting friends and family, did not go in vain.  But really, why go through all that? And what happens next? I earned mine a little over a couple of years ago. Of course, I was proud, happy and fulfilled, but the biggest feeling was a relief. Finally, I can move on to other dreams, and start focusing my energy on other duties. But after all the celebrations and congratulations, everything went back to normal. I feel the same person, I did not feel like I was an expert on anything, in fact, it made me realize that there are so much more that I do not know. Often times, I would find myself not knowing how to respond. I realized further, that earning the degree does not make you an expert, at least not yet. It only strengthens your desire to know more, because whether ...