Random Thoughts

  About Life and Death I was watching episode 3 and 4 of the K-Drama, Thirty-Nine . It was about three female friends, who are all aged 39. As the story progressed, it was revealed that one of the three friends is terminally ill. The news affected all the characters, one way or another. The news of death nearing is devastating. Knowing that life will end with such certainty makes it very scary, but aren’t we all certain to die? It is just a matter of when.  I cried while watching the two episodes because it is heartbreaking. It is unfortunate for death to come at such an age. I will turn 39 this year, so in my eyes, the terminally ill character is still very young and full of promise. It is scarier because I’m almost her age, and that could happen to me too. Shouldn’t death come later and not at a time when you are starting to figure out life? But death does not negotiate, and whether she seeks treatment or not, she will die. Treatment may extend her life for up to a tear, but...

Bertolucci’s second key to happiness is to let it go. This, she said, is the principle of acceptance. Truly, we want to be in control most of the time. We want things to go our way. We want our friends to follow our advice and decide based on what we think is better for them.  This is also the same with our expectations from other people. We want them to treat us the way we want to be treated, and respond to us in certain ways. And when they don’t we end up upset, disappointed, and frustrated. We often forget that those decisions and actions are not ours to make in the first place.  How many times have we felt devastated because things didn't turn out the way we imagined it in our heads. All of these negative emotions came from the fact that we have difficulty accepting that what has transpired is beyond us.  At times, no matter how hard we try, no matter the planning and the preparations we make to disaster-proof everything, they just fall apart. Leaving us helpless, and...

The first key to happiness presented by Dominique Bertolucci is to take charge, the principle of choice.  She claims that you need to consciously make the decision to be happy. And I agree. Often, it is tempting to be swallowed by the negative emotions we feel, we often forget that we can take charge and take responsibility for our happiness.  Although at times, it is difficult. It is quite a challenge to choose to be happy when things are not going your way. I also think that we need to acknowledge and deal with the negative emotions such as sadness, frustrations, and disappointments. But acknowledging these emotions does not mean that we should nurture them. We need to deal with them because these emotions are part of our lives and part of who we are. However, we should not let it take over our lives. We should not let these feelings get the best of us. At some point, we need to decide to stop moping, move on and focus on what will make us feel good.  The code to happin...

Next Chapter We’ve held hands for so long We went through it all You got my back when things go wrong You have my shoulders to cry on And when the rain came pouring You were there to keep me going I’ve called you on your don’ts And you called me on my won’ts We turn to each other for that  Pat on the back We went through it all together But we both know nothing lasts forever You have your plans And I’ve got my own This time I don’t have your back And my back is on my own Because things are different  now And roads are not the same You follow a road that’s not mine to trek And my path is nowhere near your trail And so this is it Take a bow and peck the cheek We’ve held hands for so long But now we need to learn to hold our own And so this is how it is  We’ve had each other’s back for so long And now we are turning away Because we need to be who we are meant to be We’ll remember when our lights were blinding And the time of our lives we used to be sharing The pats on the ba...

  Little Miss Where have all the years gone? Some years ago, you were ready to run Never thought that the course was a maze And plans and dreams are unending chase You never really knew what you wanted But you have a good idea of what you need You have planned your life for a destination But the map keeps on changing directions Will you ever know what to look for? When everything seems like the way it was before You have always played it safe Is it that miserable to make a mistake? One day you will end up regretting The other road that you have not taken Because you were afraid to disappoint Since everyone expects you to be on point Or are you just blaming the others? For your indecision and lack of courage? Your fond of justifying your actions Because you’d rather be safe than make the bold decisions Truth is, you’re just scared of what might happen The comfort you’re in cannot be ruined Your good but sometimes it’s sad and boring It’s more exciting to live the life you’ve been dr...

MINE I catch your gaze, with that innocent face It pierced my heart, now it falls apart… You looked my way and your eyes were true... I didn’t know then, what my heart already knew... And I’m trapped… Trapped in a daze by your sweet embrace With your arms so strong, this can’t be wrong… As you stared and smiled, I called you mine… But mine is a tricky word… Mine is not forever,  Mine is not a promise Mine is in my head Once mine is with someone else.  You walked to me, so mischievously.  And my palms sweat and my heart skipped, And my world stopped as you tease… You reached out your hand,  And I willingly take them…  And I’m stuck… Stuck in a haze of this unfamiliar place…  But you squeezed my hand back to wonderland... As you stared and smiled, I called you mine… But mine is a tricky word… Mine is not forever,  Mine is not a promise Mine is in my head Once mine is with someone else.  But you forgot about me And all we could be You left with my dr...

  I Am Still Yours I saw her looked at me  And for a moment I saw no one else She was beautiful, wonderful, and all a man would long for I thought I want her I thought I love her I was happy I was crazy She’s something I never knew all my life She’s new, she’s refreshing She brings me something I thought was missing But I was losing This is strange This is not me I am missing I didn't like who I’m becoming I stepped back, and moved back And knew then that this is not what I want I stepped back and saw her She’s beautiful, she’s wonderful but not who I long for She is fun and exciting  But not someone who would listen She is tough and strong  But not someone you’d cry on The light of the party, but not my safe place I was drawn to a temporary happiness I found the high, but lost my smile I left the joy that was once mine You were not like her And I did not know better Your my calm in this chaos My quiet in this noise I thought I wanted something else I was drawn to an...

  The Right Time I would have wanted to meet you sooner And be there to ease your fear Hold your hands when things were not easy Make you smile while you were lonely But we were at different moments in time You were pursuing your dreams, I was figuring out mine Mine were not the hands you would have wanted to hold They were weak, unsure, afraid, and cold I wouldn’t be someone who can give you support I was young, immature, stubborn, and lost I wouldn’t be able to make your lonely heart smile I was down, bitter, insecure, and fragile. It would have been nice to walk the journey with you Sorry I couldn’t, I was facing my battles too I wanted to have saved you from drowning But I couldn’t because I was fighting the waves that kept on coming What would have become of us if we had each other? Would we have survived when both of us needed saving? I’m glad you had people to hold when you needed them Because I wouldn’t know how I’d survive without the people in my team You have become the ...

What is it about the day that made you so grumpy? You slammed the door, walked away, and stormed through the alley… You stared out the window and sighed Your fist formed and clenched on the side This is one of those days when frustrations get the best of you Even the clouds and wind seemed to be against you too When nothing seemed to go as promised And you are let down by your own wit and courage Yes, there are days when the sun is not perfect When the light is so bright even when you dim it But these days are part of the life you’ve been given And they bring out the worst that you have kept hidden Don’t worry it is fine, there will always be days when we don’t like who we are We turn into monsters and revisit our scars Sometimes the wounds heal  But will not change the way we feel But it is part of who we are as we are beautifully flawed… Sometimes we feel defeated but it is nothing to be ashamed of… I’ve seen you cry, and hurl, and growl… But I’ve seen you stand and rose above it...